Loss
by LostObsession
Summary: An episode based oneshot focusing on how Sayid feels about the death of Shannon during Abandoned. Sayid's POV. Some implied Shayid. Contains episode spoilers.


Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, I don't own Lost, its characters, or anything associated with the show although I wish I did. The genius behind Lost belongs to and only to J.J. Abrams, Damon Lindelof, ABC, Touchstone Television, and all of the other people who helped or help to create it. I also don't make any money by writing this story. I wrote it merely for mine and others' enjoyment.

Character: Told from Sayid's POV with some Shannon and others maybe thrown in.

Spoilers: The 11/9 episode "Abandoned."

A/N: This is my first ever song fic, not to mention the first fanfiction that I have ever written and posted. I hope everyone will like it. I have this song on CD and when I first heard it, I immediately thought of Shannon and Sayid. In my opinion, it describes their relationship perfectly. I'm also venting about the horrible/sad ending to the 11/9 episode, and if you have yet to see that one, you should be warned that this contains spoilers to the events of it. In other words, if you don't want to know what happened, please don't read it. So those people that decide to read it are not confused, the story also starts a little before the end of the episode.

I also don't own the song "Fix You" in this story. The song "Fix You" was written by and belongs to the band Coldplay. I just borrowed the lyrics.

Now, on with the story...

* * *

Loss

Everything was perfect. I had just told Shannon that I loved her, that I would never leave her, and she had not turned away. For once, I had hope that maybe what we had was real. That everything about our relationship, for lack of a better word, would be alright. Yes, Shannon had yet to tell me that she returned my love, but for now all that mattered was that she knew I loved her.

My euphoria was ruined, suddenly, by the unexpected arrival of Walt. Was it truly Walt? Shannon had explained the finding of the bottle of messages that had been placed so carefully on the raft with Michael, Jin, Sawyer, and Walt himself on that promising day the raft had set sail. It was difficult for me to imagine that some of our fellow survivors, our friends, who were considered heroes the day they set sail, had met such an inconceivable fate. Yet, it was unmistakably Walt who I saw standing before Shannon and I.

I could tell Shannon was overjoyed to find out that I, could in fact, see Walt just as well as she could. Although Shannon thought I had regarded her as crazy, that was never in the least bit true. I had never thought she was crazy; I had only recognized what effect the loss of her brother had on her. She had been getting little sleep, and I judged that Shannon's tiredness had made her imagine Walt. Or, perhaps somehow, Boone's death might have made Shannon fear for other people who she cared about, such as Walt, which lead to nightmares.

However, I could also tell that the Walt standing before Shannon and I was not entirely physically there. I have never believed in visions or ghosts or any other paranormal occurrence, so I was quite shocked by my discovery. My shock quickly disappeared, though, when Shannon suddenly bolted into the trees after the fading Walt, loudly and desperately yelling his name. "Walt!"

_When you try your best but you don't succeed  
When you get what you want but not what you need  
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep  
Stuck in reverse_

Fearing and thinking of the worst possible outcomes, including the "monster" or the "Others," I rapidly jumped to my feet and took off running after her, calling to her to stop pursuing the vision Walt, sure that it would only bring danger. "Shannon! Shannon!"

_And the tears come streaming down your face  
When you lose something you cannot replace  
When you love someone but it goes to waste  
Could it be worse?_

Many stumbles later, I hoped that I was gaining ground and would soon be caught up with Shannon. Looking around and seeing she was nowhere in sight, I called her name repeatedly, wishing she would give up her chase to find me. It was not good to get lost in any forest, especially in this one with its "monster," and I could not help but be worried. "Shannon!"

_Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you _

It was soon proved that my fears were justified when a loud bang I realized was a gunshot sounded a short way away from where I was standing. Panicked, I spun around, inspecting the trees surrounding me closely. "Shannon!"

_And high up above or down below_

_When you're too in love to let it go  
But if you never try you'll never know  
Just what you're worth _

Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you

Moments later, trees and bushes shook slightly as a young woman with blonde hair staggered through them. She turned slowly to face me, a hand covering her stomach where there was a red stain forming, and looked into my eyes... "Shannon..," Her name left my lips as a whisper, and when she started to fall, I caught her. "Shannon!"

_Tears stream down your face  
When you lose something you cannot replace  
Tears stream down your face and I _

In my arms, I knew she was already slipping away. Away from reality and away from me. Still, I promised her I would never leave her... "Shannon..."

_Tears stream down your face  
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes  
Tears stream down your face and I  
_

I brushed her golden hair from her face, carefully rocking her while softly stroking her hair. I couldn't believe this was happening. Shannon, the Shannon I loved, was leaving me, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I hadn't even kept my promise. I had left her. Wet tears of pain slowly spilled from my eyes and ran down my face as I remembered Nadia and now Shannon...my Shannon. My Shannon who gradually, moments later, closed her eyes.

_Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you.

* * *

_

It probably sucked, but I'd appreciate any constructive criticism, advice, or compliments you have to offer, so please, please, please review! All you have to do is push the little blue button down in the left-hand corner. Thank you! 

LostObsession, a.k.a. Ana


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